No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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