I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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