so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
