you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
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