I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
