can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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