Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
