Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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