So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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