its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
