My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
