covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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