Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
