Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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