And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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