she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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