That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
