Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
