roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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