So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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