To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
