Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
