haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
sex in a hospital.. check
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
