either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize