found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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