This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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