New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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