she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
