As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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