Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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