i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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