i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
