for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize