I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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