I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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