you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize