I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize