My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
