he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
