where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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