I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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