somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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