after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
