I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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