Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I've blown a few things in my day
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
