I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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