This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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