nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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