Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
