Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
