Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
