We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
