Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
