I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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