i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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