it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize