just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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