yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He called his prostate his "boner button".
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains