If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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