how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The dick lei will go down in squad history