Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow