Duck Duck Cougar?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
