plz talk dirty to me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize