yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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