Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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