She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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