we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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